Talking to your child about doing homework

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One-on-one conversations with your child are critical to tapping into your child's intrinsic motivation, says Dr. Dechi

One-on-one conversations with your child are critical to tapping into your child's intrinsic motivation, says Dr. Dechi. Children are naturally interesting, and inviting them to understand why something makes sense can interest their intellect.

Baton Rouge's Jody Golden says she often bribes her kids to behave when they buy groceries, promising them a toy from the dollar department "because it works." But she admits that children in general behave much better than her husband Brett, who does not give bribes, but makes everything a lesson in life. After the kids have cleaned their room, Brett always shows how beautiful it looks, Jodie says, and how important it is for them as adults to know how to keep their belongings neat and organized.

If your children are in denial about the task from the start, Dr. Dechi advises parents to start from the point of view of this from your child's point of view. Then talk about the importance of the event in a way that is respectful. If your child doesn't want to clean his room because he's tired of football practice, say: Why don't you take a break and after dinner you can clean up your room so you can find everything you need for homework? Avoid using words like “should” and “should,” Dr. Deci advises, and offer to be there to help when kids really need it.

Asking your child how they feel about doing a particular task can also help create a happy atmosphere that encourages children to cooperate. Question like: "What do you think about doing your homework yourself or with the help of BidForWriting authors?" and "How do you feel when you finish this homework?" can push children to ideas of their accomplishments that they might not otherwise have. Another effective strategy for getting kids to kick bad habits is to show empathy by asking how you can help. Dr. Kennedy-Moore says, "It puts the parent and the child on the same side against problem behavior, not a fight."

When her daughter was in first grade, Dr. Kennedy-Moore says she fell into an after-school routine: she came home, hit her brother, and she was sent on time out. When Dr. Kennedy-Moore asked her daughter if she could come up with a solution, she offered to grab a bite to eat in the car on her way home from school. “I don’t know if she acted because she was very hungry, or eating was just a soothing activity for her, but it definitely helped,” says Dr. Kennedy-Moore. "Children's solutions to problem behaviors often work better than those proposed by parents because children invest in making their solutions work."

Providing your children with feedback on how they are doing their jobs during these conversations can be motivating. Instead of reaching out to the park as a reward for completing homework, try to catch your child on the day when he finished it at a decent hour. As you go to the park, notice that the natural consequence of doing your homework early is to leave time for fun later.